Let me preface this post by admitting that it has been a long journey to my current [relatively] healthy mental state. It wasn’t easy. It isn’t easy. In fact, the dark emotions that came before were some of the scariest that I’ve ever dealt with—and I’ve dealt with my own melancholy and depression for years. 

The fear that came with my father being near death in the ICU due to COVID-19 led to my first panic attack. I wrote more about that here. 

But in this post, I want to focus on the positives. Because I’ve slowly managed to bring myself into a calmer, happier state of mind, I thought I’d share some of the practices that I do on a daily basis. 

So, here’s how I remain calm and content during quarantine:

1. Journal 

I write a lot about my experiences here. However, I do think it’s worth writing in an actual notebook during this time. (Though this @overheardsanfrancisco post made me laugh…)

In fact, it’s something that I not only challenged myself to do but my parents as well. My dad’s (who’s in recovery at home) blood pressure has been going up, so I thought that this would be a good way for him to stay calm. 

Now, it’s not actually a log of everything I do in a day. Instead, I write down three things that make me happy in the morning and three things I’m grateful for at night. These have to change every day, so it really makes me think about all of the different things that I have in my life, and to really realize how privileged and lucky I am. 

For my dad, I challenged him to do the same thing in the afternoon as well. 

2. Caring for others 

As we’ve kind of seen above, another thing that helps me stay calm and happy during quarantine is to take time to reach out and care for others. I always remember a lesson that I learned for my social anxiety. Someone once told me that if I was having social anxiety at a party, I should act like I was the host. 

This didn’t mean that I should claim the house or event was mine, it simply meant picking up mannerisms of a good host. This allows you to speak to more people with less fear because you’re offering them something. “Do you need a drink, the bar is right over here?” “What interested you in this event?” You get the idea. 

Well, the same sort of mindset seems to work in quarantine. If I’m concentrating on making sure that other people are doing okay, I tend to forget about my own worries. I’m able to give advice, send little letters or gifts, and feel good that I’m making the people around me feel good as well. 

3. Yoga 

I cannot even begin to express how important yoga has been for me during this experience. Honestly, I love that it makes me concentrate on my body (and not falling over) instead of the crazy jumble of thoughts in my head. 

The breathing and sighing also makes me feel so much more relaxed. On top of this, my muscles are so cramped from being stuck in this tiny apartment that it feels so so good to stretch them out. Yoga. If you’re not ready to dive into meditation (though I recommend doing both), just doing yoga can help you calm all of those thoughts that keep trying to get your attention. 

Plus, there are some awesome online classes available. They range in length too, so you can choose anything from a 15-minute video to a 45-minute power vinyasa. Check out Lululemon’s YouTube channel, Yoga with Adrienne, Alo Yoga. Just type in yoga to YouTube and you’re all set. 

4. Trashy TV

There was a time during this quarantine that I felt too guilty to watch trashy TV. I wanted to spend my time reading, doing my puzzle, learning, meditating, exercising, or watching quality shows. Turns out, sometimes your mind just really needs a break—and nothing gives it as big of a break as trashy television. I highly recommend Netflix’s “Too Hot to Handle.” This binge watch session gave me a full day to just be lazy and it felt so good. 

5. Tea & mushroom coffee

After my dad started to recover from COVID-19 and left the ICU, I began to have time to focus on myself. This was not a good thing (his recovery was the best thing in the world, but focusing on myself was the worst). Nights were spent staring up at the ceiling in a state of panic, wondering if I, too, had COVID-19. Knowing that if I did, my family wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

So, I needed to find ways to make it easier to fall asleep. 

I am a huge sleep nerd and am a huge advocate of its benefits. However, I’m also a major coffee-lover. Conflicting interests? That never mattered before. Now it did. 

I needed an alternative to coffee. Something that would give me a morning lift, without its effects affecting my nighttime habits. 

So I replaced my coffee with a Chai black tea every morning (with a bit of nutrient-enriched plant-based milk). This was followed by tea for my notoriously bothered tummy (see my post about panic & vomiting) as well as tea for sore throats and better breathing. 

Now my day has become a series of events in between cups of tea. Not only has this helped me sleep better at night, but it's also helped cut down my snack cravings. I drink a cup of tea and the liquid fills me up so that I snack less and focus on nutritious meals instead. 

I also just got my order of Four Sigmatic mushroom coffee which is a perfect

6. Cleaning

I don’t like cleaning. I never have. It takes so much time, the tasks always feel overwhelming, and I live alone, so what’s the point?

The point is that whenever I do manage to clean (I try to schedule this on most weekends), not only does my studio feel cleared, but my mind does too. A clean kitchen suddenly makes me a lot more interested in trying one of those recipes I watched online. A clean hallway makes me feel so much happier in the morning. And a clean bathroom makes me feel so much more relaxed. 

So, I try to make sure I do small cleaning tasks throughout the week or a big cleaning day on the weekend. 

7. Hypnosis

This isn’t the hypnosis you might be thinking of. It’s a technique that I first heard about while listening to Safi Bachall on an episode of the Tim Ferriss Show. Basically, he spoke about how he goes through a process of running a boardroom in his mind. 

In this boardroom, he is the chairman, and all of his thoughts and emotions are executives coming to him with their issues. This allows him to acknowledge all of the things that are churning within him (anxiety, fear, stress), while still having control over the situation. 

Every time he feels like one of these emotions is getting in the way, he’ll speak to it. He’ll say, “okay, Mr. Anxiety. It’s your turn to speak. Please tell me what is happening.”

Then he’ll allow himself to acknowledge what it is that is giving him anxiety. Personifying the emotion then allows him to either come up with a quick solution or acknowledge it, then set aside time to deal with it when he’s ready. 

This is especially useful at night when these emotions tend to keep us from getting sleep (which has actually been shown to help with these problems if we can only reach it).

So he’ll say something like, “thank you, Mr. Anxiety. I hear what you’re saying and I will think about it. However, now is not the best time, so we’ll have to revisit it tomorrow.”

And then he’ll move onto the next issue until everyone in the “boardroom” has been dealt with and he can fall asleep. 

Sounds a bit crazy, I know, but it works. 

8. Online games with friends

I’ve found that I feel the fatigue that other writers have written about when it comes to video chats. It feels like too much effort to try to keep a conversation going for very long. However, what I’ve found to be super helpful (and brings a smile to my face) is starting video chats with a quick catch-up. Checking in with everyone, asking about people’s days, making sure we’re all okay. 

Then, as the conversation begins to dwindle, playing a virtual game. One I’d never tried before was called Drawful. It’s a lot like Pictionary, but everyone gets to guess, and you can also vote on the answer that you think is best. 

Playing games like this allows you to feel like you’re actually hanging out rather than just calling for the sake of “connecting” while practicing shelter in place. 

9. Headspace’s sleep stories

Okay, my final secret to calmness and happiness during quarantine (is this a secret?) is on the Headspace app. Like I mentioned above, I am a huge believer in the importance of sleep. Not only does it help you deal with stress, but it also helps you control your emotions when you are awake and keeps your immune system strong. These are only a few of the benefits of sleep, so take it seriously!

Anyway, when I was having trouble with my sleep, I discovered Headspace’s (recommended to me via Telemed) sleep stories. 

I am obsessed. 

Honestly, they’re exactly what I need (and hopefully what you need too). It starts with normal meditation breathing and body techniques. Then, based on which “setting” you’ve selected, the narrator begins to describe a location. This can be an old antique shop, a laundromat, a beach. 

Basically, the narrator describes—in a very soothing voice—all of the little details about the surrounding. It places in that location and as you listen to what’s happening, you somehow drift off to sleep. 

There must be something to do with the fact that it’s told like a story (so your mind has something to focus on) without having a plot (so there’s nothing to keep you intrigued or awake). 

Whatever makes it work, it really is an awesome tool for anyone who needs help falling asleep at this time. 

And that’s it. Those are the nine ways that I’m staying calm and happy during COVID-19. I’ll probably share more soon because we’re living in a changing landscape. Every day brings something new. I may not always remain calm (in fact, I know I won’t) or happy. But I know that these practices will help me from falling back into the storm of anxiety, fear, and darkness that I was in before. 

I hope these ideas can work for you or inspire you to find your own practices. Would love to hear about them in the comments!