sometimes you just have to be a kook in order to have a little fun
All tagged COVID19
In this post, I want to focus on the positives. Because I’ve slowly managed to bring myself into a calmer, happier state of mind, I thought I’d share some of the practices that I do on a daily basis.
In this post, I wanted to talk a bit more about those other feelings. In particular, how the fear took over my body and the resulting emotional terror that I went through this past week. There are a couple of reasons why I’ve decided to talk about it. First, because I think it will help me, mentally. Secondly, because if anyone else is going through this, I hope it will help them as well.
What I’m writing about in this post is my own personal experience with paranoia around COVID-19 since my dad’s hospitalization, what that paranoia led to, and then steps that I found extremely helpful for dealing with that paranoia.
Here’s something they don’t tell you.
After having someone you love survive COVID-19, the relief you feel isn’t as simple as just relief.
You’ve spent the last however many days huddled in uncertainty. Your hands ache from being clenched in prayer—prayer to anything that is sacred in this world. You’re weary from nights spent tossing and turning, unable to sleep with your heart pounding in your chest, wondering what the next moment will bring. You’ve cried yourself into dehydration. You’re exhausted and nerves are on end. And then…
And then he survives and you’re flooded with relief. You can finally relax.
But with that relief comes other emotions.
Namely, guilt.
Anyway, today I thought I’d write something a little different. Instead of a log of the day, I’ll write about some of the things I’ve been going through while my dad is in the ICU. From contradictory emotions to spirituality to frustrations, I’m going to try my best to describe what it’s been like here.
