sometimes you just have to be a kook in order to have a little fun
All in musings
If living through quarantine and my father’s COVID19 near-death experience has taught me anything, it’s to take advantage of things when you have them. It’s only when you can no longer go to a café with friends that you realize the beauty of those moments. So, with the long summer days and warmer weather, I decided to kick my jogging into high gear.
However, some are lucky enough to find that perfect flow of energy. That flow of energy leading to the place of goodness and light. Following that flow leads them to success (not monetary, necessarily, but happiness and contentment and joy in life). What if prayer is simply a form of tuning into this energy? Maybe meditation, yoga, running, hiking, reading a good book, coding a new experience, sleeping, or even dancing are all prayer. Maybe when we find that “flow” state that so many self-help gurus talk about, we’re actually in a state of prayer.
I want to speak to the validity of feeling like you’re drowning in the darkness that continues to swell. And how, taking time to hone in on the little things, can make it feel like you’ve been given a life vest, if only for a moment.
As I ran up Green street toward the Presidio, I felt the exhaustion in my limbs and in my lungs. My pace had slowed to what was almost a walk, but I wanted to make it up the hill without stopping. Unfortunately, as I reached the halfway point, I felt myself give up. I stopped, placed my hands on my knees, and tried to catch my breath. Looking up at the distance to the top of the hill, I felt ashamed and aggravated at myself. Why couldn’t I have just pushed myself a little harder? Today, I wanted to write about a strange side effect that has occurred during quarantine: disappointment.
