All in musings

Quarantine Diaries: Rediscovering my motivation

I’ve always been interested in self-improvement. There’s just something about dreaming up future versions of myself that I’ve loved. From health to knowledge, I’ve always thrived when I am marching toward a goal. I guess I’m most alive when I’m living for some new project.

However, I can’t explain how thrilled I was this morning when this old feeling returned like a spark. It was faint at first, but grew until I almost felt like my old self.

However, the last few weeks have been something of a drought for me. I looked into taking a nutrition course (something I’ve always been interested in due to the bowel issues I’m sure you’re only too excited for me to move on from). Yet when it came time to actually pay for and start the course, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Quarantine diaries - dealing with panic attacks & COVID19 scares

In this post, I wanted to talk a bit more about those other feelings. In particular, how the fear took over my body and the resulting emotional terror that I went through this past week. There are a couple of reasons why I’ve decided to talk about it. First, because I think it will help me, mentally. Secondly, because if anyone else is going through this, I hope it will help them as well.

What I’m writing about in this post is my own personal experience with paranoia around COVID-19 since my dad’s hospitalization, what that paranoia led to, and then steps that I found extremely helpful for dealing with that paranoia.