love — Create Reality Blog - Personal Musings

Apr 4

Apr 4 Quarantine Diaries - Survivor's guilt

Here’s something they don’t tell you.

After having someone you love survive COVID-19, the relief you feel isn’t as simple as just relief.

You’ve spent the last however many days huddled in uncertainty. Your hands ache from being clenched in prayer—prayer to anything that is sacred in this world. You’re weary from nights spent tossing and turning, unable to sleep with your heart pounding in your chest, wondering what the next moment will bring. You’ve cried yourself into dehydration. You’re exhausted and nerves are on end. And then…

And then he survives and you’re flooded with relief. You can finally relax.

But with that relief comes other emotions.

Namely, guilt.

Apr 4

Apr 4 Love at the End of the World: Part 2

Kellen McKillop

I get in my car and sit there for a while. It’s strange that even with only a few months left to live, I can still feel odd about going to visit my dad. Stressed even. How can something like heading to my childhood home fill me with fear when I literally have death to worry about. Still, it does, and I sit there with my hands on the steering wheel for a while, staring out in front of me.

Mar 5

Mar 5 Love at the End of the World

Kellen McKillop

The first part of my “Love at the End of the World” short story. A young woman deals with the news that the world will end in ninety-days by getting in contact with her family members. She and her sister have a surprising conversation over a pizza and her father needs to fix his refrigerator.

Feb 14

Feb 14 Not Your Average Love Letter

Kellen McKillop

musings

I’ve been watching a lot of the new Queer Eye lately—and despite the fact that I’m 100% infatuated with Antoni who would rather bang it out with a dude than me—the show has inspired me to notice all of the unique, weird, and hilarious parts of each person in my ohana. It is these qualities that make me love you all.

Hi.