Here’s something they don’t tell you.

After having someone you love survive COVID-19, the relief you feel isn’t as simple as just relief.

You’ve spent the last however many days huddled in uncertainty. Your hands ache from being clenched in prayer—prayer to anything that is sacred in this world. You’re weary from nights spent tossing and turning, unable to sleep with your heart pounding in your chest, wondering what the next moment will bring. You’ve cried yourself into dehydration. You’re exhausted and nerves are on end. And then…

And then he survives and you’re flooded with relief. You can finally relax.

But with that relief comes other emotions.

Namely, guilt.