Despite following my best practices, I started to feel really down yesterday. This continued into today (though a good night of sleep helped a little). 

The thing is, the reality of our situation is only now hitting me. I know… I’m late to the party. But the truth is, I’m just now grasping the concept of living in quarantine for at least another year (if we’re being smart and don’t want to open the flood gates again). 

Of course, I’ve been aware of this timeline in the back of my head for a while. However, it hasn’t seemed real to me until now. I’ve simply been living day-to-day—as many of you are, I’m sure—trying to stay healthy and productive in my little apartment.

But for some reason, the reality of our situation hit me hard yesterday.

And it got me thinking about the bigger picture. What will actually happen to our economy as we enter this new landscape of long-term social distancing? How bad is it going to get? What will our relationships look like? Will I ever get to meet another person? If I do, will I ever get to the point where I’m comfortable physically touching them (not that I’ve ever liked touching, but now all of a sudden I want to!). 

I was also watching Rainn Wilson’s @soulpancake “hello human” on Instagram live. A girl from Finland was selected as one of the people he spoke to. Her comments about teachers and life made me miss my adventures there so much. This was only magnified when I scrolled through Instagram and saw that someone had posted a throwback photo of them sitting in Helsinki’s gorgeous, minimal, and peaceful Kamppi chapel. What I wouldn’t give to be in such a meditative place. 

I also watched someone’s story about bathing in the refreshingly cold waters of Denmark’s Atlantic ocean. The memory of ice baths filled me with incredible longing. Longing to be out in the world, experiencing a day filled with so many activities that I come home exhausted, falling heavy into my bed. 

The restlessness that filled my body buzzed and twitched. It kept me awake, forcing me to play a “paint by numbers” app on my phone until I finally felt my eyelids droop. In the morning, I had a cup of tea and tried to feel better, writing in my journal and talking with friends before diving into work. 

However, I was still feeling off. The unquietness of my soul spun me until I felt dizzy. 

Now, I didn’t write this post to make you feel as unsatisfied or restless as I’ve been. I wrote this post because I wanted to share how much better I felt after taking time to get outside for a slow, quiet walk. 

I was debating between just going up to my roof for some fresh air or actually taking a walk outside. My quarantine buddy (a friend who lives downstairs and who has quarantined with me since the start) made the decision for me. We were getting some steps in

We walked for an hour. Up toward Nob Hill past beautiful hotels with antique architecture, lovely landscaping to look out over the Bay and Alcatraz, then back around past little markets and closed restaurants. The air against my legs and face, the greenery and hideaway staircases, the stunning buildings that rose high above our heads, made me feel less cooped up. I made sure to take both regular pictures as well as mental pictures of standout buildings and plants. I wanted to notice them. To realize that the world was still alive outside. That I was still living in one of my favorite cities. 

I almost felt normal.

Of course, this wasn’t the first time I’ve been out of my house. I try to go on runs at least three times a week. I go early in the morning so that there are far fewer people out. However, these runs require so much effort. 

I love them because they exhaust me and get my heart rate up. They challenge my muscles, straining as I struggle up the hills. However, these runs don’t give me the same mental space as the walks do. 

Walking allows me to slow down and appreciate the world around me. It’s been more than a week since I took one of these slow, quiet walks. The result was energizing. I feel less crazed and restless (though I have to admit that those feelings have not gone away completely; how could they?). 

But if you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and claustrophobic, consider one of these walks. Take time to look at everything around you. I took some pictures of the buildings that I love to help me appreciate them and my time looking at them. 

Of course, be careful. I wear a mask and stay more than six-feet from all other people who are also walking at the same time as me. When I get back to my apartment, I also immediately wash my hands before doing anything else. 

But I think as long as you’re cautious, I think these types of walks can seriously help.